1. Who do you adore? My mum, T.T., Madden Man and Jenn.

2. Who adores you? Everyone. *grins* Just kiddin’, I know my son does and my mum and I think most days, Madden Man does as well. *laughs*

3. What’s in your pockets? Um, at the moment, I don’t have pockets, but when I do, usually, my cellphone and some tissues. That’s usually in the mornings when I go walking. :/

4. Who can you talk with for hours? Jenn & my mum.

5. What sounds great today? Everything, surprisingly. *smiles*

TTFN

I was looking for some stuff last night via DogPile and I ran across the following. I thought it was damned funny, so I am going to share it with you, my two loyal readers. *smiles*

Daddy’s Ten Rules For Dating

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. 

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open-minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “Barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: “early”. 

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka — zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. 

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car — there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

I don’t think I have laughed quite so hard at something like this in a long ass time.

TTFN

1. How many cell phones have you had? How long have you had your current cell phone number? Um, I have had like six cellphones in about 10 years. I have had my current one and number for almost two years now.

2. Where was the last place you had sex? My bed.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your love life? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest) 5. Could be better could be worse.

4. Does Bliss sound like a fun game to you? Have you ever played it? From what I could tell of it, it was interesting.

5. Is there anything or anyone you would be willing to die for? I’d be willing to die for my son, then again, wouldn’t most parents do that for their kids?

Bonus (as in optional): If you were (or had) a magic genie and could only grant wishes for others and you only had three left, what would they be and who would they be for? Hrmmm, I would have to get back to ya on that one…

TTFN

This time last year, I was laying in a hospital bed with Cartoon Network playing, counting the hours until I could go home… Ah memories… Yes folks it is my one year Surgiversary… So, I am going to put up some pics. Now, I will tell you they are rather crappy, but you get the idea. My shirt is a little too big (too lazy to change it for the picture :/), but again, you get the idea…

Okay, so in the pictures, if you look really closely, I actually have a collerbone. Yes, yes, I know everyone has one, but um, I hadn’t actually been able to see the fucker for the last couple of years. My arms are still flabby and Lord knows I have some more butt to lose, but then again, what the fuck do you expect for someone working on losing their next 120+lbs? *smiles*

So there, Jenn… I put some pictures up. Oh, BTW, my head is cut off in the pictures because my hair is fucking thrashed right about now. Little frizzy after washing it last night. :/ Fucking flat iron took the damn afro out of it, but left the fucking frizz… :/

TTFN

*cues the cheesy 70s game show music and plasters on the fake smile* Yes folks, it is that time again… Some People Scare Me…

So, I had some stupid and some funky search strings show up last month and I thought I would share with you all… So without further ado…

is nicole scherzinger ever going to settle down and have children ~ How in the fuck should I know? Frankly, I don’t really care either. The woman is set on getting her solo career going as well as still recording with PCD, so I would venture a guess and say that she won’t be having kids anytime soon.

american chopper fanfiction, nkotb fan fiction ~ Um, try taking a look at Adult Fan Fiction for those types of stories. I found my way there a few weeks ago and have gotten lost in some of the stories… Some folks have some sick ass minds. *giggles* Yes, myself included. *winks*

fireproof hotel ~ I used to have a picture of one, but I have since deleted it. When I go to Venice (the beach in SoCal, not the city in Italy) this month sometime, I’ll see if I can get another picture of it.

100lbs gone pictures ~ I so have been promising these for awhile, haven’t I? Hush Jenn… *smiles* Anyway, since tomorrow (May 3rd) is my one year surgiversary, I will have some pics to show y’all.

carmine giovinazzo and girlfriend ~ He has one? Damn, I must have hidden under a huge fucking rock somewhere. :/ If you have pics or know her name, hook a Fluffy Girl up, please. *grins*

ticklish brad renfro ~ Wut?

*cues cheesy outro music and slaps on fake smile* So there you have it. I had some rather pronographic (great, another fucking buzz word for Google to pick up now :/) ones as well, but why in the hell should I share those? Seriously. *laughs* So until next time…

TTFN

1. Describe where you grew up: The desert, is there any other way to really describe that?

2. Do you wear any jewelery? Yep, I sure as hell do. I have eight earrings in my ears (a pair of small gold hoops and two pairs of diamonds and whatever the fuck gets my attention for the last set of holes, my tongue is also currently pierced, I have a black rose tongue bar in at the moment) various necklaces from an emerald cross to a diamond solitaire and a Hatchet Man as well as various rings on my fingers.

3. What do you have too much of? Fluff… *giggles* Seriously? Um… I tend to have way too many friggin’ ideas for short stories and sadly most of them never see the light of day. :/

4. Who is a fool? One of my celeb crushes for his poor choice of girlfriend. :/

5. What’s your nickname? Fluffy Girl…

TTFN

Well, I have found myself watching a hella lot of videos lately. Reliving some good music and silly fashion trends and shit like that. :/ Anyway… I was looking for something the other day and I noticed something rather… hmmm… it’s not weird or anything like that, just… Oh fuck it… let me show y’all some pictures (no, Jenn, not of myself. *laughs*)

Sorry for the itty bitty picture, but that is a shot from the No Doubt vid It’s My Life… She kinda reminds me of…

Yes, this is Britney Murphy. Not really sure why they remind me of eachother, but they do. :/

So, then I ran across the following…

This is a shot of Robert Deniro in Once Upon A Time In America (fab film if you haven’t seen it… you should!)… So who reminds me of him? See the following…

Yes folks… that is one of the Madden twins (and yes, I know which one it is as well. *laughs*) from Good Charlotte. Normally he doesn’t remind me in the slightest of anyone except his brother, but in this picture, he reminds me of Deniro. :/

Okay, all that being said, let’s move on the the fashion trend that I was noting when I started this damned post… When I was in high school (okay, that made me feel so fucking old saying that…)… it was like 1990 and the fashion trend for guys was the Creeper shoes. I thought with the right pants they looked kinda cool. Imagine my fucking surprise to see those bastards coming back. Don’t believe me? Let’s have a look shall we?

These are, for reference, a close up of the shoes. Yes, I knew guys in high school that had those hideous leopard print creepers. :/ Anyway, so onto those rocking, or not, the trend of Creepers…

This is a screencap from the video Then The Morning Comes by Smash Mouth. The shoes belong to the lead singer Steve Harwell. I think this vid came out in like 1999. So yeah, Creepers started creeping back into the mainstream there… So we move onto…

These would belong to Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong (I still prefer him with the fucked up grill, but such as life…). This screencap is from the Holiday video. I could so be saying something about them fuckers giving him some height, but I ain’t gonna be a bitch like that. From what I was watching/seeing, he was rocking those fucking Creepers all through the American Idiot phase. :/ I believe that was like 2002(3) - 2004, something like that. :/ So, last but not least…

If you look closely at the Madden twin playing the guitar, mofo is rocking the Creepers. I am not exactly sure what year of the VMAs this was, though I would assume it would be around 2002/2003. I believe they performed The Anthem that year, so yeah…

Anyway… why the hell are these shoes “creeping” back into the mainstream? They remind me, sadly, of shoes hipster guys used to wear to go to the club. :/ Still though… with the right pair of pants, they do look strangely good. *laughs*

Well, this brings us to the end of a rather useless post… Okay, that’s not really true… I was bored as fuck and this amused me for a bit. *grins sheepishly*

TTFN

1. Early bird or night owl? Night owl…

2. Where was the first place you ever had sex? The floor of my mother’s den.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest) Um… in general, 8, about celeb crush issue… 1.

4. Are you more submissive or dominant? Both… *winks*

5. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, though it has never happened to me, but I believe that it can happen…

Bonus (as in optional): Describe your bed time habits. What side do you sleep on? What do you usual wear? Any night time rituals? I sleep on the right side of the bed on my stomach, and I usually wear a ratty old nightgown and a pair of cut-off shorts under it unless it’s fucking gold, then it’s the flannel pjs. Very sexy, I know… *winks*

TTFN

Okay, so (paging Cher Horowitz) I finally was able to talk to Jenn about the previous entry. No, not the meme, the one about my celeb crush and all that. She made me laugh so fucking hard. Thanks for that Jenn. *smiles* I thought I would share a little excerpt from that conversation when I sent her a picture of said celeb crush… she had never seen what he looks like… Anyway… here is an excerpt…

Jenn: You have a type of guy
Fluff: and he’s it
Jenn: I would have said you would think he was cute if I didn’t know already that you thought he was cute
Fluff: tattoos and piercings lmao
Jenn: white boys with round faces too
Jenn: stocky, husky
Jenn: the kind tha tmake ou feel protected when hugged
Fluff: am i that transparent Jenn? heheh
Jenn: lol
Jenn: well, now you are
Jenn: back in the day I wouldn’t have pegged it but you have gotten a few of them under your proverbial belt now

And can I tell you, my two loyal readers, that it didn’t hit me about the white boys with round faces thing until awhile later down in the conversation. *laughs* And so, further down in our conversation…

Jenn: and hwen you said you were sending pics, I thought you ment WLS
Fluff: no
Fluff: LoL
Jenn: imagine my surprise to see a white boy
Fluff: with tatts and piercings
Jenn: Wow, Kim, my how you’ve changed…
Fluff: well you know
Jenn: lol
Jenn: take some WL pics!!
Jenn: You’ve lost over 100 lbs woman
Fluff: i will tomorrow before I go to my moms
Fluff: LoL
Jenn:  ok
Fluff: do i really seem to go for the round faced white boys?
Jenn: Yes
Jenn: with a few exceptions

I swear folks. I was laughing so fucking hard at this conversation and I have to say thank you to Jenn for making me laugh like I haven’t in awhile. *smiles*

Okay, so since that hilarity has been done, I will be taking some pictures of myself to show. Unfortunately, I don’t have the pictures from the night before my surgery. :/ So, comparison will be a little hard. :/

Anyway, here’s hoping everyone has a safe weekend!

TTFN

1. When did you last get lost? Um… the last time was when T.T., my mum and I went to Venice beach. We totally got lost trying to get back to the main highway to get home. :/ That was last year BTW.

2. Have you ever been flying? Not as in me flying the plane, but I have flown before. When I was 5. I was airsick all the way to the destination,  even in the fucking airport i was sick. Needless to say, I have never flown again.

3. Who do you always listen to? New Found Glory, Green Day, Good Charlotte, etc… for music, for advice, my mum and my best friend, Jenn.

4. When does the day feel long? When I really want to take a nap, but I can’t fall asleep.

5. Friday fill-in:
Are we _____ ? there yet?!?!?!

TTFN